I wanted to take a moment and wish everyone HAPPY HOLIDAYS, and as a good catholic, MERRY CHRISTMAS! BUON NATALE of, course to my Italian family and friends.
I’ve been a bit MIA on this blog, my apologies. I’ve been busy finishing up my book about the story of my precious son I lost due to a stillbirth. I I wrote Alex’s story as the beginning of the book I am writing about my son Nicholas, who is 16 years old as I write this and has RDEB. I feel this story stands alone and might be helpful to other parents facing similar circumstances.
Following that thought of helping others in similar circumstances, here’s the list I have on the back of the book on How to Help Bereaved Parents. My book, Losing Alex, is available now for the Kindle and it’s only $2.99.
How to Help Bereaved Parents
If you ever have a friend or a relative lose a child, please remember the following:
1. Send a card or/and flowers. Truly, it’s the least you can do. I would even go as far as saying to send a gift of some sort, an angel, a book, a Christmas ornament, just put your thinking cap on. Do it.
2. Don’t expect them to ‘get over it’. The loss of a child, whether an adult child or an infant, is not something you ‘get over’. It is something you learn to live with.
3. Don’t ask what you can do for them, or tell them to call you. They won’t. Pick up the phone and call, or pick a thing to do for them and do it. Bring dinner, mow the lawn, make a contribution to the funeral or medical bills, help clean the house, run errands for them, anything, really.
4. Listen – The best gift you can give a grieving parent is your listening ear. Let them express their feelings – the questions, the disbelief, the anger, the pain and even the guilt they may be experiencing.
5. Don’t avoid them like the plague. You cannot ‘catch’ their bad luck. Invite them to lunch, take them to the movies, go to the mall with them, let them talk and cry. They NEED you.
6. Go to the funeral. You have no idea how important that is. It does not matter what you have to cancel or if you have to take part of the day off from work. It’s two hours of your day they will forever be grateful to you for.
7. Recognize that grieving has no time limit and varies from individual to individual both in the way they express their grief and the time required to stabilize.
8. Respect their grief. Treat the parents and give them the same sympathy that you would show for the death of an older child.
Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.
