EB Info World

Supporting families dealing with Epidermolysis Bullosa.

EB Info World - Supporting families dealing with Epidermolysis Bullosa.

EB: Disease or Disorder?

My son Nicky was merely a week old when a good friend, researching the condition, told me emphatically that EB was definitely a Disorder, not a Disease. It may come to a surprise to many when my inner response to that was like ‘whatever’. “Thank You” I replied to her, and never thought about it again.
It truly made zero difference to me if EB was a Disorder, a Disease or, for that matter, a Syndrome, an Illness, a Condition, an Ailment… the only thing that mattered to me was to make sure people at least spelled “Epidermolysis Bullosa” correctly, since I cringe every time I see the folder with EB spelled out wrong by the Doctor that diagnosed Nicky. Can you believe that? Ugh.

There are people however, whose classification matters a great deal. I remember clearly a patient being really upset when the late Princess Diana referred to EB as a disease, or another one crying telling me her life was hard enough without people thinking she was diseased.

Popular belief is that you cannot catch a disorder but you can catch a disease. A disorder is inherited, a disease can be caught by anyone who is not immune to it.
The truth is that, according to my extensive research, contrary to this popular belief, neither disorder nor disease imply particular underlying causes. One term is not more medically accepted than the other. In particular, disease does not require infection (e.g. cardiovascular disease) and disorders can be caused by infection (epilepsy), and doctors use both freely.

Very much like EB, Krabbe Disease, Tay-Sachs Disease, Wilson’s Disease, Huntinton’s Disease and even some forms of Parkinson’s Disease among others are ALL genetically inherited conditions, inherited the same way as well, either recessevely or dominantly.

Confused yet? Let me confuse you even more. Wikipedia describes Epidermolysis Bullosa as a connective tissue disease, WebMD calls it a genetic skin disorder, NIH calls it simply a disease, Medscape a group of inherited bullous disorders, the EBMRF calls it a group of diseases, Stanford calls it a genetic skin disorder, while Cincinnati calls it an inherited disease. Debra (US) calls it a genetic skin disorder, yet has this really great campaign (get this shirt!!!) where it calls it a disease. Many other websites, including other Debra websites like Debra UK & International call it simply a ‘condition’.

So, what does it all mean? Perhaps Wikipedia answered this question for me. According to them, it seems as if the word ‘Disease‘ is more of a broad, inclusive, generic term, while disorder is more specific and newer (and when you get to the Disorder page there, it links right back to disease): “In humans, “disease” is often used more broadly to refer to any condition that causes pain, dysfunction, distress, social problems or death to the person afflicted, or similar problems for those in contact with the person. In this broader sense, it sometimes includes injuries, disabilities, disorders, syndromes, infections, isolated symptoms, deviant behaviors and atypical variations of structure and function, while in other contexts and for other purposes these may be considered distinguishable categories. Diseases usually affect people not only physically, but also emotionally, as contracting and living with many diseases can alter one’s perspective on life, and their personality. There are four main types of disease: pathogenic disease, deficiency disease, hereditary disease, and physiological disease. Diseases can also be classified as communicable and non-communicable disease.

You say disorder, I say disease. Tomato, tomahto. Whatever you call it, at least one thing’s for sure—they both share the same goal, which is to prevent it, manage it, treat it and/or find a cure.

Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.

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Until it Happens to YOU!

The other day I was perusing the ‘EB news’ of the day and I ran across an article of a family whose insurance did not pay for bandages (shocking, I know!) and the family resorted to get their supplies from a state program for children with disabilities which picks up expenses, usually outrageous, when the family cannot afford them. When the state was taking their sweet time approving the bandages and the family ran out, they were scared and upset, and understandably so. They contacted the news station to get their help, the state got pressured to approve and within days everything was all better.  Let’s face it, until it happens to YOU, you will never quite grasp how expensive and stressful it is to have a sick child. Never.

The comments under this article were quite disconcerting, but the one that got my attention was the one that stated how the “two ‘able bodies’ parents should go to work and pay for these bandages and not rely on the taxpayers to foot the bill”.

Insert vomit sound here.

Apparently this “person” is vastly ignorant about the significant expense of bandages (thousands of dollars a month) and relies on the talking points of those who could not care less about the misfortune of others and do not bother researching what exactly this family’s needs are and what they are going through. I can’t say I am surprised. I’ve had to deal with this kind of ignorance since Nicky was born when my insurance did not pay for bandages and there was no state program that covered them either.

tumblr_m7o7r1vxvA1qcn3oqo1_500Let me explain things for those that are willing to learn more about the plight of bandages for EB patients: they are as important as Diabetes’ patients supplies and chemotherapy treatments for cancer patients. They are VITAL. It’s the only treatment available for EB wounds. Period.
Should these supplies/bandages be covered by insurance? YES!!! The reason why we purchase an Insurance Plan is so our Health Care Bills are taken care of. Families with an EB patient only have ONE treatment for their condition: cover the chronic wounds with ointments and bandages. Unfortunately these supplies are outrageously expensive, which family can afford to pay $3-10,000 a month for bandages may I ask? Who? Many families are forced to skimp on their supplies, some have to lie about their income so they can apply for social programs. No family can afford such a bill unless they are independently wealthy.  You may sign the petition if you haven’t done so already, to try to light a fire under someone’s behind to FIX THIS.

And let’s not forget that this child is not like any other child. This baby cannot just be put in daycare while the parent goes to work to earn this supposedly exorbitant amount of money to pay for bandages. If family is not nearby to help, the only two options are to either pay for a Nurse (do you know how expensive it would be to pay for a full time Nurse? Look it up!) or one of the two parents is forced to stay home, so the income is slashed in half.

How do I know all of this? Because it happened to ME. I had to quit my great job to take care of Nicky full time when he was born, and to top it off the insurance did not pay for the bandages and there were ZERO state programs in Arizona that helped me in any way, shape or form. We lost our house, our cars, I used to have to wash and reuse bandages, something highly frowned upon and extremely risky but I had no choice. None.

I know what it’s like for nobody to give a crap, because, in my case, nobody did.

But why does it take to HAPPEN TO YOU to develop the compassion to learn more about the situation, ask questions, try to come up with solutions?
Why is it perfectly OK to have this attitude to ABANDON families in need, when to no fault of their own they were unlucky enough to have a sick child? What is wrong with our society when we decide to have the attitude of  ‘it’s not my child, not my community, not my problem?’

Is it too much to ask for bandages so our children can LIVE? To some, apparently so. Shame on you.

Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.

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Every EB patient is different… no, really!

When my son was born and later diagnosed with Recessive Dystrophic EB I thought the only difference with him and the other patients was the degree of severity. Actually, I take that back. I did not know there was a degree of severity either, I thought that, like most diagnoses I had known in the past, either you have it or not, like cancer. You either have it or not, there was no ‘worse’ or ‘better’ cancer, it just was. It wasn’t until my first trip to Stanford that the Doctor put a label on severity for me… ‘mild to moderate’ was his opinion. Oh… OK. We were happy with that, gosh, we don’t want to hear ‘severe’ ever. 6 months later, after Nicky started vomiting skin and blood and could no longer eat any baby food, he told us he had to ‘upgrade’ his diagnose to moderate to severe. Joy.

Even so, when Nicky was little, I felt that RDEB followed a specific set of guidelines, certain areas of the body were bad or worse depending on severity and that patients were all pretty much the same. I even said and gave advice I have since apologized for because I realized something that a lot of people are unaware of. Every patient is different. No, really!!! Each and every patient is different. They really, really are. I feel SO uncomfortable giving advice nowadays I rarely do it, and when I do, I do it only if I feel I can honestly contribute and truly help in some way. Oh, and the patient has to have at the very least the ‘same’ RDEB diagnose. I would not dream of knowing how to care for a Simplex/Junctional patient and I always refer those questions to other patients or parents with children with similar diagnosis.

So… how do these patients differ? I can only speak for RDEB patients, of course, but I noticed many differences, not only in the skin and how it heals and where the wounds are, but what matters to one patient that does not to another.
Some patients, for example, like to air dry their wounds, they feel it works better for them. Others simply need to be covered, end of story. There truly is no need to argue about it or tell a parent who does not wrap to wrap or the other way around it. Every patient is different. We know what works for us and that’s the way it is.
Some other patients are adamant in keeping their hands, some don’t. This is a very personal decision, to mock one for doing surgeries or to mock another for not doing them serves no purpose. We need to support one another.

Nicky with his chest covered and his high collar shirt :-)

Nicky when he was 2 years old with his chest covered and his high collar shirt :-)

Here’s a personal experience. Nicky often gets kudos for having a neck and chest that is wound free. Of course I’d like to think I have something to do with that because when he was little I wrapped his chest a lot and kept his hair long (not too long in this pic, he was basically bald until he was 2, ha ha) so his head and neck would be protected by the hair. Furthermore, I would always buy him high collar shirts to protect his neck even more from any little possible injury. Little scratches can grow and become huge problems with EB as I found out early on. As he grew older, areas that never got wounds became a bit tougher, harder to wound. I don’t know if my protection techniques helped or not, but I’ve met many patients whose necks were one of their worse problem… but, unlike Nicky, can walk just fine. Nicky’s feet have been a big problem for him as long as I can remember. I tried every which way to protect them, but from the time he was 10 or so they got worse and worse, almost like a spiral. Once the got wounded bad it was the end of it. He can barely walk now and I have to help him most of the time.
I even met patients who can barely walk but can eat pretty good all things considered, and some that could not eat anything but walked just fine. Some patients do very well with g-tubes, for others it’s a nightmare. I remember meeting this fine young man, with beautiful, normal looking hands, who could not walk at all. Another who claimed he had no wounds on his body because he had mentally mastered itching. Another could barely walk, but went rock climbing. I met patients that can drive and others that could not even imagine driving. I even saw some patients with tattoos or piercings and others who would think these things are simply crazy talk. No, really, I’ve seen it all. Every patient is different, I can’t say that enough. Every patient is different!

So… next time you might feel the urge to judge, please remember this blog. Every EB patient is different… no, really!

Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.

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May the New Year bring these Wishes to you all…

May the New Year bring these Wishes to you all…
Warmth of love, comfort of home
Joy from your children
Company and support of family & friends
A caring heart that accepts & treats all human beings equally
Enrichment of knowledge and richness of diversity
Courage to seek & speak the truth even if it means standing alone
Hopes and dreams of a just world and the desire to make it happen
A light to guide your path
Helping hands to strengthen unity
Serenity and peace within your mind, heart & soul
Food for thought & soul
A hand to hold
~Author Unknown

How to Help Bereaved Parents

I wanted to take a moment and wish everyone HAPPY HOLIDAYS, and as a good catholic, MERRY CHRISTMAS! BUON NATALE of, course to my Italian family and friends.

I’ve been a bit MIA on this blog, my apologies. I’ve been busy finishing up my book about the story of my precious son I lost due to a stillbirth. I I wrote Alex’s story as the beginning of the book I am writing about my son Nicholas, who is 16 years old as I write this and has RDEB. I feel this story stands alone and might be helpful to other parents facing similar circumstances.

Following that thought of helping others in similar circumstances, here’s the list I have on the back of the book on How to Help Bereaved Parents. My book, Losing Alex, is available now for the Kindle and it’s only $2.99.

 How to Help Bereaved Parents

If you ever have a friend or a relative lose a child, please remember the following:

1. Send a card or/and flowers. Truly, it’s the least you can do. I would even go as far as saying to send a gift of some sort, an angel, a book, a Christmas ornament, just put your thinking cap on. Do it.

2. Don’t expect them to ‘get over it’. The loss of a child, whether an adult child or an infant, is not something you ‘get over’. It is something you learn to live with.

3. Don’t ask what you can do for them, or tell them to call you. They won’t. Pick up the phone and call, or pick a thing to do for them and do it. Bring dinner, mow the lawn, make a contribution to the funeral or medical bills, help clean the house, run errands for them, anything, really.

4. Listen – The best gift you can give a grieving parent is your listening ear. Let them express their feelings – the questions, the disbelief, the anger, the pain and even the guilt they may be experiencing.

5. Don’t avoid them like the plague. You cannot ‘catch’ their bad luck. Invite them to lunch, take them to the movies, go to the mall with them, let them talk and cry. They NEED you.

6. Go to the funeral. You have no idea how important that is. It does not matter what you have to cancel or if you have to take part of the day off from work. It’s two hours of your day they will forever be grateful to you for.

7. Recognize that grieving has no time limit and varies from individual to individual both in the way they express their grief and the time required to stabilize.

8. Respect their grief. Treat the parents and give them the same sympathy that you would show for the death of an older child.

Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.

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Being Different

By Silvia Corradin

From the Book ‘Special Mommy Chronicles‘ (only $2.99 for the Kindle!)

Being Different

     On most days the furthest thing from my mind is my child being different from any other. We laugh, play together, even bandage changes are so routine it feels like a ‘normal’ thing to do. I don’t have any other children, so I don’t have anybody to compare him to on a daily basis, and that might very well be a blessing. I don’t sit there feeling sorry for myself, or feel sorry for Nicky that much, if at all. We just live and take care of what needs to be done.

That all changes, however, once we go out in public. The stares, the questions, seeing other kids my son’s age do things Nicky will never be able to do, can truly be heartbreaking. I often worry about Nicky’s mental state seeing other kids do things he cannot do, and that is why I try my best to get him to spend some time with children like him. I also try to help him do the things he cannot do and do them in a creative way, like holding him in my lap to go on a swing, or down the slide.

The questions and reactions I get from people are varied.

There are those who just ask ‘What happened’, and after I offer my initial brief explanation they walk away (yes, they walk away!). Then there are those people who truly seem concerned and ask a million questions… I like these people, but there are only a few of them out there. I even had some wonderful souls who start crying, WOW. Then there are those people who think are out of earshot but aren’t, who comment or try to explain to their children what is ‘wrong’ with Nicky… and they always without fail get it wrong. They will say ‘he got burned in a fire’, or ‘he was in an accident’ or things of sort. Others tell me about their cousin or aunt with a skin disorder (usually eczema or similar) or think they know what it is, but it’s never the case. Any skin disorder pales compared to EB, so I know they don’t understand how badly Nicky is affected. To most others I hand out a card that explains what Nicky has in simple terms, and that has worked best because it has links to websites to get more info.

The stares sometimes are the cruelest things.

Admittedly, I have gotten used to having my child stared at, and I know that is true because when there are other people with us they comment constantly on this person or that person staring that I did not even notice. There are also different kinds of staring. There is the staring out of curiosity that ends just as quickly as it started. Then there is the persistent stare-the one that follows you for a whole minute or five! Then there is the ‘yuk’ stare (my personal peeve), the ‘poor baby’ stare, but my favorite is the stare with a smile… but my child rarely gets those, unfortunately.
I realize that people are curious and notice things that are different than what our society feels is ‘normal’. Picking out what’s different is a skill children learn at a young age, perhaps it’s a skill that is part of being human, and that enables us to pick the freshest fruit to eat or avoid illness or an accident. Nicky’s only difference though, it’s on the outside. His skin may be damaged, and he might have tons of wounds and limitations, but inside, he’s as whole as any of us; perhaps more. He has a keen sense of love and his ability to love and even forgive me, or anyone, for anything, is beyond measure. He is without a doubt the happiest child anyone has ever seen. Even after an excruciating bandage change full of blood and needles he’s so happy it’s over he comes over for a hug and starts singing, and that smile… boy, that just melts my heart.

My child’s disability is only part of who he is, but because his disability is so incredibly visible, I feel too many people tend to concentrate on that alone, and that is very sad. What a world this would be if people would only be judged by their insides…

Mom to 3 boys, 1 in heaven, 2 on earth. My first son Alex (whose demise is most likely EB related) was stillborn at full term. After a miscarriage, I had my second son Nicky, who has the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa. My youngest son, Connor, is 100% healthy, and I never, ever take it for granted. I am an author, photographer, graphic artist, webmaster, blogger and more.

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